Anxiety and Ernie’s Teeth, Among Other Anxieties

Tomorrow is teeth-cleaning day for Ernie, and I am quite anxious. It was a little over 8 years ago that my darling Schnauzer Allie died suddenly during a routine teeth-cleaning procedure. I know that this is a very rare occurrence, this is not the same vet, Ernie is a little younger than Allie was, and the chances of something terrible happening is very slim, but I know bad things can happen. Therefore, I am nervous. I think about Allie’s death even when I’m giving Ernie his antibiotics to combat any infection that may occur. It’s good that Ernie has no idea of what’s coming. He’ll be upset when I leave him at the vet tomorrow morning, but he will not be awake very long, because they do surgeries first thing, before regular appointments begin.

I also see John tomorrow before Sabrina and I see him on Thursday. (I swear that she never listens to me. She texted me this afternoon and thought our appointment was tomorrow.) There is so much I need to ask him about: the Eid Festival, the program explaining that Islam is a religion of peace, the loan repayment reminder, spending time with Sabrina (did John talk to her about that during his session with her last week?), etc. Plus I haven’t felt well today; I had a slight fever today. Hope I’m okay tomorrow. I was going to try to get my nails done, but then I decided against it because I didn’t want to rush.

Jackie called last night and the girls want to go to a volleyball game tomorrow after school. So I guess things are getting back to “normal,” whatever “normal” is in my relationship with Sabrina. I have always told her that I don’t mind driving the girls for her. I understand how difficult it is to be a working mom. But I really do want to be treated with respect by her. She has no control over Clint and how he feels about me, but she can respect me as her mother and not bully me or demand I be or do with my life what she wants. She certainly can ASK Clint to show me some respect, if our paths cross. Those are some of the things I want to talk to her about with John. I’m VERY glad she finally called me, but she really does owe me an apology,and a thank-you, though I’m not going to push it.

I did not get to Tai Chi yesterday nor to Geneology On-Line today. But I really need to get to the OASIS Tutor Refresher course on Thursday. I also want to get to the Islam 101 class tomorrow night (if it is on) and Salaat and Dual Komeyl on Thursday night. Then Rhodes is having their Volunteer Breakfast Friday morning and then I need to go to Juma’ and the Friday evening program at the Masjid. I suppose that it is good to be busy and have things to do, but it’s my nature as a rather reclusive person to be a bit nervous, anxious, and pressured when I have so much scheduled. I wish I weren’t this way, but I am.

I also HAVE TO install that printer that has been sitting in my house since the Spring, and try to figure out Skype so that I can see and talk to Palwasha. Those things make me nervous, too. I always anticipate things will go well, but there is always a glitch.

Well, I need to eat, pray, and sleep. I had a terrible time getting up this morning. Maybe because I wasn’t feeling well. I hope things go better tomorrow morning, since we have to leave to go to the vet by 7 a.m., InshAllah.

That’s where I am right now.

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About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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