I Feel So Sad


I took Ernie to the groomer this morning and he looks great. But I bought some canned food for Hannah, in hopes that she would eat. But she hasn’t touched it. She has a weak, pained cry. She stumbled on the stair this morning when she caught her claw on the rug. I know she is not well and I am so sad. Wednesday I will call the vet. I’ll have money then. But she may not come home. It’s hard to go through this with no one to talk to.

I sort of went a little nuts last night, thinking about my ill-treatment and disrespect by Sabrina. I feel so bad that she hasn’t called me. I even feel angry with the girls, who don’t call except when they want me to do something like drive them around.

I was so angry, that I wished I were dead so maybe Sabrina and the girls would be sorry for the way they treated me. I know that is crazy behavior. But I am so sick of being disrespected and then asked to help with something. No one cares if I don’t feel well or if I’m lying dead somewhere. I am SO depressed. My house is a disaster. How am I going to survive this rejection?

I feel so alone and so sad. I don’t know what to do.

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About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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