So it’s Sunday. I didn’t sleep well last night. I don’t know why. I kept waking up every hour or so. Around 3:30 am, I took some Klonopin. Didn’t really help. Didn’t feel terribly anxious, just couldn’t really sleep. When that happens (which it has the past few nights), I probably should get up and say prayers and read. Except that I’m afraid that then I’ll REALLY be wide awake.
Oh-oh! Ernie is puking. Wonder what his problem is. He ate his cookie this morning ok. Maybe too many potato chips or cheese puffs last night.
I read a lot in the Reading Circle book last night. I’m supposed to go today at 2 pm (it’s 11:30 am now). It’s a great book, but makes me so sad about the animals and how we treat them. I feel guilty about eating meat now, even fish and seafood. And I feel VERY bad about killing all those ants, because I did it in anger because they bit me when I was killing them. I know that I can’t have ants in the house, but I felt revenge when I was killing them. Thar’s bad and I need to ask forgiveness for that.
I “cleaned up” what I had already written on my book last night. Changed names and such. I need a literary agent. Maybe John can help me with that. I’d like to write some more, but I should read and go to the Circle. But my depression and anxiety makes me want to avoid going out, especially in groups. I”m going to dinner with the girls later. That’s ok. They are going to the movies with Sabrina this afternoon. Wonder what they are seeing.
After my appointment with Dr. Schuenemeyer tomorrow morning, I was thinking that I might get my nails done and then go to the movies by myself. I’d like to see “The Social Network.” However, maybe she’ll put me in the hospital. Who knows? I see John again on Wednesday. Dr. Kadakia, too. I feel like I am sliding backwards in life. I just can NOT get out, except to Dr. appointments, and I’ve even put them off.
I got a migraine (with aura again) yesterday, and it (the migraine) came back this morning. I took meds, so I feel better, but this is the 2nd time for a migraine with aura in a week. Probably I need to see the Dr. about them. Guess I’ll talk to Dr. S about it tomorrow along with everything else.
I found a pretty Native American bracelet for Palwasha online at Southwest Indian foundation. It would be nice for her BDay. They had a maple turtle fetish, too. Maybe I’ll order them for her. They also had a great stacked fetish necklace with a main turquoise turtle. Too dear, though, for me.
I had been start thinking about Christmas gifts. The holiday will be here before you know it. I probably will get nothing because I’m Muslim. Sabrina should like that. But I still need to give gifts. Oh well.
O God! I hope Dr. S can do SOMETHING to help me tomorrow. SIGH.