I saw Dr. Schuenemeyer yesterday morning. We had a good talk, and she gave me samples of a med to take just before bed that may help regulate my mood. It is also sedating, so I may sleep better. I took it last night; it wasn’t as sedating as I feared. I did wake several times but went back to sleep right away. And I don’t feel overly sleepy this morning. But I am having some coffee this morning.
I received a text from Sabrina last evening confirming our appointment for next Monday. I did not respond. She didn’t respond when I notified her of the appointment, but apparently John called and talked to her yesterday, so she confirmed the appointment. I don’t know if I want to meet with her again. I will discuss it with John tomorrow. I’m really afraid of another horrendous session in which I will be attacked again.
I did get my nails done yesterday, and I have to pick up food from Morgan this morning. I may even get to the musical class this morning. I have to register the car. And I would like to get my nose pierced. (!)
I didn’t get to the movies with the girls yesterday. My migraine was really bad. It is a little better this morning but I still have it.
Joanne called Sunday night but I didn’t check messages until last night. I tried to explain our horrible counseling session; I had texted her that I felt like John had “thrown me under the bus,” so I tried to explain that to her, but I know she didn’t get it. Only John now knows how bad it was/is.
I need to order Palwasha’s bday present. I bought a card for her. Evalynn and Katie’s gifts arrived yesterday, so I have to mail them.
Narjis asked to send my message about reading the book to the group. She thinks I write well. That’s encouraging. I did tell her I was writing a book. I told Joanne, too, but didn’t get much response. Something must be wrong with me; people not in my family seem to appreciate me but my family doesn’t. It is painful.
Maybe those are things I should talk to John about–depression, the appointment with Sabrina, my book, how my family reacts toward me as opposed to other people. Maybe I treat my family wrong. I know I didn’t explain myself well to Joanne. Who can say?
I wasted a lot of time last night playing Mahjongg. It distracted me from my headache.
