A Break-Through

Sabrina and I met with John last night, and for the first time in nearly 3 months, I have hope that I have not lost my daughter. She was pleasant but tired when she came in. Jackie has a cold, Cassie had her first migraine, and Clint’s back is bad.

John must have been really thinking about what methods would work with us. He started with talking about our session last week where we talked about Islam and religion in general. We disagree totally but we can still work on my issues. He explained that his feelings are closer to Sabrina’s but this was not “them against me.” The point was that there are certain facts: both John and Dr. S feel that they see improvement in my mood and affect. I agree, however, I am having problems getting out off the house. I have a lot of anxiety and it borders on agorophia. So John and I will have to work on that.

John also talked about the day he realized that his mother would not always been around. I think he was trying to tell us not to put off resolving our issues.

Sabrina started to break down and open up. She feels like she is all I have and feels so much pressure to be the perfect daughter, and can’t mess it up. Strange, when we haven’t really seen each other or talked for nearly 3 months. Anyway, she sometimes feels like she has to be a mother to me emotionally. John wants to explore my own relationship with my mother: were there unresolved issues; how was my relationship with her.

Then to finish this emotional session, he asked us each to say a brief uplifting statement to each other. Sabrina wanted to go first. She told me that I was the smartest person she knew, that I was a good person, and she loved me very much and wanted me to be happy. I told her that I was extremely proud of her, she is very special, I admire her, and I love her so much and only want her happiness. By that time, all 3 of us were crying. The 1st time I’ve ever in 15 years that I have seen John cry.

When we left, we left together–Sabrina and I–and we hugged very tightly (how I’ve missed that!). I told her I truly meant what I said and I loved her so very much. She said the same and we hugged and cried for several minutes outside. She wanted to make sure that I was ok to drive home, and we left.

Today I made another appt for us for 2 weeks (1 week for me). I think we finally reconnected; I think that we are finally on the role towards healing.


About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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