Monthly Archives: December 2010

Dream-Like, or Nightmare

I woke very early this morning–somewhere around 3:15 a.m. No particular reason; just awoke. I read a bit in Deserts and Mountains, took a shower, wrote in my morning pages book (have been neglecting writing my book, however). I felt … Continue reading

Posted in agorophia, being with people, books, darkness, daughter, depression, despair, dog, early rising, Ernie, fear, granddaughters, love, morning pages, my writing, outcast, psychiatrist, reading, rejection, relationship issues, sadness, suicidal, suicide, therapy, writing a book | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Realms of Darkness

I read something this morning that struck me as being pertinent to my situation: “The realms of darkness  are the first place to search when you are dealing with evil. The evil condition of the human mind is such a … Continue reading

Posted in anger, anxiety, bad relationship, darkness, daughter, evil, fear, prayers, relationship issues, son-in-law, therapy | Tagged , | Leave a comment

To Give Or Not To Give, That Is The Question

My granddaughters and I are going to see a movie this afternoon, and since I haven’t seen them since before Christmas, I packaged up their Christmas gifts to take over to their house. But I have been debating and going … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas gifts, daughter, granddaughters, movies, reconciliation, relationship issues, son-in-law, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Maybe A Misunderstanding?

So why I have still not heard a word of any kind from Sabrina? Could we have a misunderstanding here? She asked a question the other day (Sunday) on FaceBook about Muslims celebrating Christmas. Some of her friends gave some … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, communication, daughter, depression, feeling like I don't belong, granddaughters, jewelry, lack of sleep, misunderstanding, movies, outcast, phone call, psychiatrist, relationship issues, sadness, therapist | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

A New Day

Funny what a good night’s sleep can do for the mind and the soul. It seems that everything appears the bleakest in the nighttime, especially when the day hasn’t gone so well either. The morning comes, and even though it’s … Continue reading

Posted in Allah, anger, bad mood, being taken advantage of, Christmas, depression, despair, early rising, granddaughters, incidents with Sabrina, migraines, prayers, reconciliation, rejection, relationship issues, therapy, understanding | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

More Christmas Day Thoughts

Now it’s noon. Still haven’t heard from my daughter. I guess I feel like writing about it since I can’t do anything about her lack of concern or sensitivity to me. I just hope and pray that her daughters never … Continue reading

Posted in anger, bad mood, bad relationship, being taken advantage of, Christmas, Christmas gifts, creativity, daughter, death, defining moments, depression, despair, dog, feeling like I don't belong, feeling used, my writing, paintings, rejection, relationship issues, sadness, suicide | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Christmas Day

  Even though I am a Muslim, I am an American and Christmas is embedded into my very fiber. Following the dictates of my religion, I did not decorate for Christmas (apart from a poinsettia plant which I sent to … Continue reading

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Fudge, Cookies, Grad School, and Lack of Sleep

Well, it’s been an interesting day today. I woke up at 2:15 a.m. and could NOT get back to sleep this morning. It was not for lack of trying. So I gave up and decided to get up and take … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas activities, cookies, disorganization, feeling like I don't belong, granddaughters, relationship issues, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

NOT MUCH TIME TO DREAM

I woke up at 2:25 a.m. this morning and have been up ever since. I could not get back to sleep. I tried. I had taken a lot of meds and I didn’t sleep during the day. I was just … Continue reading

Posted in bad mood, Christmas activities, cookies, fudge, lack of sleep | Leave a comment

More Wacky Dreams

It must be the chicken salad sandwich with is causing all these vivid strange dreams. In one dream, I was trying to teach my sister to drive a stick shift truck. She didn’t even realize that driving a shift was … Continue reading

Posted in dog, Doug, dreams, stuck shift truck, testicles | Tagged , | Leave a comment