I Am A Nervous Wreck

I think I am going insane. Sabrina has twisted everything I have done or said to make it seem like I am out of my mind and can’t take care of myself. Maybe I can’t. I know the house is a wreck but I need to save money to have someone come in to help me clean it. I have tried to pick it up but I get too tired and it’s been left for too long. I tried this morning but there is just too much stuff for me to handle.

I found a place in the yellow pages that specializes in unusual cases so I will call them and ask them for help. I’m thinking it will cost about $500 to clean. But I need to take out more money. I can’t do it right now. Maybe in a week I will have to. I don’t know if Sabrina will come tomorrow. I will come clean to Dr. S today and then to John tomorrow. I need a housekeeper and I wish Sabrina would help me set up someone to help, but she ignores me and I can’t seem to so things myself.

How can I get her to help me? It seems she hates me being around and even asking for help, I don’t necessarily want her to help, just get me some help. I can’t stand how everything get’s twisted into something sick. Why won’t anyone help me?

About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
This entry was posted in anxiety, darkness, depression, despair, messiness, sadness, shame, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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