My Daughter’s Perspective of Me

I am Sabrina, age 35 years old. I’m married to my second husband and have 15-year-old twin daughters. Diane Marie is my mother. She confuses the heck out of me. She was a very devote Christian and a year ago she decided that she’s a Muslim now. I think that is confusing to my daughters because she used to take them to church. They don’t have much time for church right now because they’re on the school Pep Squad and need their rest on Sunday mornings. I don’t believe much in organized religion. At first I thought that she became Muslim just to get attention. My husband has a poor image of Muslims. He lived a long time in Saudi Arabia and he should know about Muslims.

She house sat for us while we were on a cruise to Jamaica. When we got home, one of my dogs was in quarantine because he had bitten her. We were really angry. She could have made up a story so the dog wouldn’t get in trouble. Plus there was dog hair in the house and she hadn’t cleaned up spots where the dog had peed. My husband wanted her to just leave before he said something he’d regret. We didn’t speak for months over this.

My mother and I have been seeing a therapist. It’s helped us start talking to each other again. She thinks my husband doesn’t like her. He’s not thrilled with this Muslim thing. My mother and I are very different people with different values. I don’t want to discuss religion or politics around her because we have very different opinions and it sets me off. Then my husband is mad because I’ve gotten upset. But at least we are beginning to talk to each other. For a while in the Fall, we barely spoke or saw each other. Then she decided to go to NY to visit my dad’s third ex-wife and to visit her family over Thanksgiving. I think that was weird. I didn’t realize that she was that close to Pattie. I guess it was good for her because she hadn’t been there in a long time.

Her therapist was skeptical of her conversion to Islam, but he has come to the conclusion that it has been good for her. I have a hard time accepting this, but both he and her shrink think she is better for converting. Maybe I’m being too sensitive and am too confused about it all.

We had a massive fight over the Christmas holidays. I didn’t call her or invite her over because she’s Muslim and doesn’t celebrate Christmas. But she was really hurt and offended that I didn’t call her on Christmas. We had a real battle about this and thankfully, I went to talk to her therapist and he was able to help me see why she was upset. I’ve been working hard to be nice to her. She is a hoarder and needs her house cleaned good. Her therapist set her up with someone to help her get organized. I hope it works. I think she has a hoarding problem. Her house is a mess and she really needs this lady to help her sort things out.

I get angry with her when she drags the girls into our problems. That was part of the blow up over the holidays. She took the girls to the movies and made comments about me and Clint that I didn’t appreciate. It confuses and upsets my girls. And I will protect them at all costs. That’s why the therapist is good because I can bring things like that up. Sometimes she says things without thinking, especially around the girls. I appreciate all she has done for me, but sometimes she holds it over my head and throws it in my face. Then I get upset and we don’t talk again.

I got fired on Friday and I was glad to be able to talk to my mom about it. She is very supportive of me and tells me she is proud of me. For some reason, I don’t always believe that. I think I’ve disappointed her sometimes. I don’t want her to be disappointed in me. I try my best and she says she’s proud of me. Why don’t I believe her?

About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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1 Response to My Daughter’s Perspective of Me

  1. Ayeshah says:

    This a very good article! Did she write it for you? I mean she herself? Or is it you?

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