The One Who Got Away


The one who got away was the love of my life, my first husband Jimmie. I met Jimmie when we were at university and we dated for 3 years at school. We became engaged at Christmas our senior year and married in June after graduation. It was June 1971/

Jimmie was, and still is, a very good-looking man, and I considered myself extremely lucky that he loved me. I did not have very high self-esteem and after he “got away,” I settled for people who were not right for me. Not only was he good-looking, but he was charming, witty, and popular on campus and in the real world. He has a great sense of humor and loves to make himself and others laugh. He doesn’t take much seriously. He is more concerned with having a good time.

And that was the downfall of our marriage. Everything was fine and we were happy until our daughter was born. I don’t think he was ready for the responsibility of a child. He left all the child raising to me. I took care of our daughter every moment she was home. We both worked and he picked up Sabrina after his job of teaching school for the first two years of her life. He would put her in her playpen with a bottle and then take a nap on the couch. I would come home from work and she would be crying, need to be changed and hungry. And there Jimmie was, asleep on the couch.

He loved and still loves to go out to the bars with his friends. Fatherhood did not change that. He still went out the Happy Hour every Friday after school and I would often have to pack up Sabrina and go get him because he couldn’t drive home. He’s had at least one DWI in New York, and should have had more because he does have a drinking problem.

Our marriage broke up because he decided I wasn’t fun anymore. I was taking care of a small child and couldn’t go out drinking with him. He joined a softball league over the summer when Sabrina turned 2 years old. There was a softball groupie named Bonnie whom he talked about, but I didn’t pay it much attention because I thought he would love me forever. However toward the end of the summer, I came down with two STDs and a urinary tract infection, and that should have told me he was cheating on me with someone. Finally in November, he suggested that we separate since we were getting along well. I begged him to go to counseling to save our marriage, but he didn’t want to go. He moved out into an apartment, and about two months later when he showed up to pick up Sabrina for the day, Bonnie was with him. I realized then that he wasn’t coming back and had been having an affair with Bonnie. They married a few years later and had a daughter. They lived in our old house while I moved to another house.

But what goes around comes around. Jimmie left Bonnie when he started an affair with another teacher at school, younger than Bonnie. Pattie was an art teacher and their affair was the talk of the school. They weren’t very discreet. Bonnie finally threw him out and he moved in with and finally married Pattie. He continued to drink heavily; that was his hobby. But again what goes around comes around. Pattie left him and married another man because she wanted to have children, and Jimmie didn’t want anymore children. He was terribly hurt when Pattie left but she wanted children and was tired of the party lifestyle.

Jimmie retired from teaching as soon as he could and moved from New York to Nevada where he bought land for a retirement home. He has had two girlfriends in Nevada and is now having an affair with a friend’s wife. He doesn’t seem to learn life’s lessons.

He is still my first love and I have a soft spot in my heart for him. We are on good terms and see each other when he comes to San Antonio to visit Sabrina. I last saw him a year ago at Thanksgiving. So he is the one who got away. I never imagined that we would get divorced and split up. When I married him, I meant for it to be for life, but apparently he didn’t take his vows as seriously as I did. So unfortunately, he is gone and I still mourn for my lost love.

About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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