Dreams and Nightmares


Okay, I like a challenge. This is a lame topic. Some people have lucid dreams where they can control what they dream. I’ve heard all about saying a certain verse over and over in your mind before you go to sleep or to pray for certain dreams or ask the stars for the answer to a particular problem.

None of that has ever worked for me, since I first tried it when I was 15 years old. I would take a line from John Lennon’s poetry and recite it over and over again until I fell asleep. I hoped it would open up some other world of dreams. Nada. Nothing. Nihl. I had the same old dreams as I did every other night of the year.

What I do have a people who come to me in dreams, my dead relatives. It’s not yucky or scary because in my dream they are alive, but they come to give me advice or comfort me or just let me know they are still around. Without a doubt the person who shows up the most frequently is my Grandmother Rose. I was extremely close to her in life, and she died when I was 21, just months before I was married. She has come to me in my dreams ever since, especially if I am going through some sort of crisis or upset. I know she’s there to let me know that things will be okay and I always wake feeling glad I had a dream where she came. She may or may not give me advice, but just her presence is even to get me calmed down.

One time that she came was a really strange occurrence. She wanted me to meet her mother. We were in her house and she took me upstairs to meet Grandma Kate. I had my daughter and granddaughters with me and they went to meet Grandma Kate, too. The funny thing was that shortly after that, one of my granddaughters told me she had had a dream that she met my grandmother and some other people.

My father come often to me in my dreams. i really adored my father. He was the kindest, most gentle person I have ever met. He comforts me, too and gives advice sometimes, which makes me feel very good.

The dreams I don’t like because they upset me and leave me feeling bad are the ones where my mother shows up. We didn’t get along really well in life, until the end of her life, but the dreams where she shows up always have some conflict involved. I’ve done something wrong and she lets me know it.

I have a lot of work-related dreams. I don’t mean every now and then; I mean nearly every week. All the places I’ve worked tend to get mixed up together. Sometimes the dreams are okay, but other times I’ve messed something up and am trying to put things aright. I wake up from these with a feeling of failure. Maybe it’s because I had to leave working due to disability and feel bad because of that. I was successful in my jobs except for the last two. The former I left because it was making me sick because they hired the Wicked Witch of the West as my supervisor. For 8 years, everything was fine, and in one year I was a sick mess. Then I went to the other company and things were going well until my husband divorced me and my migraines started all over again and I had to go on disability for those and depression. I guess that made me feel like I had failed or let people down.

I sometimes dream about my first husband. Those are always amusing dreams, as he is a funny guy. I rarely dream about my second husband but they are not good. He was a cruel, mean, heartless person and just having him in my dreams at all is upsetting.

So, to answer the question in the theme, no, I have no control over my dreams but I do tend to remember many of them. Some take over where a previous dream left off. I tend to recall my dreams at odd times, years after I’ve had them. I think that’s odd. They are the really vivid ones and I have vivid dreams quite often.

May all your dreams be sweet.

About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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