I’m actually going to describe a minor heartbreak and a major heartbreak for today’s post. As for the minor heartbreak, I was in high school (a junior, I think) and a school semi-formal dance was coming up. I had been dating a boy I’ll call Keith on and off for the last two years. I mentioned one day at our lunch table at our all girls’ school that I was thinking of asking Keith to the dance. My best friend, who knew Keith very well, advised me not to ask him because he had told his friends at his all boys’ school that I was a cold fish. I was crushed that he would say that about me to others, so I didn’t ask him to the dance and asked I boy I knew not very well instead. I had a good time at the dance but I was minorly heartbroken that Keith could have been so cruel to talk about me like that.
The second heartbreak was by far the bigger one and could be classified as a real heartbreak. I was married to a man I’ll call Eddie. We had been married for six years and had a two-year-old daughter. I didn’t realize it, but he had been cheating on me with a softball groupie named Connie the entire summer before our daughter turned two. I should have realized what was going on. He talked about her alot. Then I came down with two STDs, a URI, and body lice. I should have known then that he was fooling around at that point but I trusted him completely. Then he stopped coming home on time over the weekends and we didn’t go out; he would stand me up. His own wife. Finally on the first of November, he said he was moving out because we weren’t getting along well. He wasn’t home long enough for us to get along. I asked if we could go to counseling. He refused. So he moved out. About two months later, he showed up to pick up our daughter for a visit and brought Connie with him. Then I put it all together. A good family friend then told me that he had been seeing her all summer and fall. It all fell into place. I felt like a fool.
I was totally heartbroken that my marriage had failed because Eddie had told me that I was no fun anymore. Of course I wasn’t as fun as Connie. I had a two-year-old to care for and worked all day and had a house to clean and care for. He refused to admit that he had been cheating on me but I knew from various friends and the consequences of the cheating on my health. This rejection totally crushed me and my spirit. I went to counseling after that and that helped me get through this difficult time.
I forgave Eddie a long time ago. I maintained a civil relationship with both him and Connie after they eventually got married for the sake of our daughter. He ended up cheating on Connie and left her with a small child. Then later the third wife left him for someone else. When I saw him nearly 30 years after he left me, after his third divorce, he finally apologized to me for what he did to me, because he said he now understood the trauma he had put me through. We still speak civilly and I wish him well.
I also wish Keith well. We were just kids. I wouldn’t “put out” and suffered the consequences. That’s the way it goes.