Pick a topic from yesterday and write about it.
I don’t like to talk about nor write about my depression. I’ve been dealing with it since I was a teenager and it’s gotten progressively worse over the years until I was in my 40s when it hit a crisis point and I had to see a professional to deal with it. It affects every aspect of my life. It’s like an ameba, that seeps into every pore of my life and darkens my life, shutting out the light until I can’t enjoy even the simplest things. It saps my energy. It leaves me fatigued. It takes the joy out of nearly everything. I go through the motions of living but I’m not really living. Doing simple basic tasks is a chore and are often not done becasue I have no energy and simply don’t care.
I am on two anti-depressants, one mood stabilizer, and one anti-anxiety drug. They help some, but they are not the answer to my prayers. I write in an anonymous blog to get some of my feelings about things that I can’t write online out of my head. I have no relationship with my daughter because of this because I can’t act appropriately. The only real joy in my life are my dogs. The mood stabilizer has helped me through suicidal periods and knowing that my dogs depend on me has helped too. Having my granddaughters around helps too. Some days are better than other. I know that this depression will always be with me and that I have to learn to live with it. A companion that I don’t want.