Five Question Friday, Better Later Than Never


1. Where do you escape to when you’ve had enough?

Home to my townhome if I’m in town; if it’s really bad and I feel like I have to get away, I take a couple of days in Port Aranasas.

2. What shows are you watching this fall?

Law and Order:SVU is a favorite and I like Harry’s Law. Then there are always the Housewives on Bravo.

3. What was the longest roadtrip you’ve ever taken and where did you go?

The longest road trip was when I moved from New York to Texas. That was long and horrible. We were in a U-Haul towing my car and 4 cats. It was a nightmare. The second longest was driving my daughter from San Antonio to San Diego with her two cats. That was almost as bad.

4. Do you plan on taking your kids to Disney World?

SInce my daughter is now 36, No, I won’t be taking her any time soon, but I did take her to Disney World when she was 4 years old. She loved it.

5. What is something people would surprised to know about you?

I am really a shy person and hard to get to know; I’m very insecure.

Time to clean out the skeletons…
Posted: 21 Oct 2011 07:00 AM PDT
It seems appropriate at this time of the year. I find that I always do a really thorough fall cleaning, more so than I ever do in the spring. This year is going to be no different…

Except I am going one step further than bagging up the summer clothes and taking stuff to the Salvation Army.

I am cleaning up the loose threads with all my social networking.

In the last month or so, I have been finding that I have let Facebook be intrusive in my life.

I feel guilty because I can’t hit delete.

Well I feel guilty no more.

I am tired of the indirect shots, I am tired of watching people do things that are ridiculous, without any thought involved other than the fact that they are trying to make some kind of stupid point that won’t change life in any positive way, things that just make them look good to the outside world.

What the hell happened to just making yourself happy? Without the material shit that means absolutely nothing in the big picture. What happened to being real? To taking time to heal the things that hurt you, to feel the feelings that you are feeling that will make you a better person when you come out on the other side of it?

Social networking has made everybody fake.

It doesn’t make you look smarter, or richer or a like a better person. Well not for long anyways. The real you is still there, and people can still see it, regardless of the front you put up for everyone to see temporarily.

It makes me sad, it exhausts me. I just feel like it has become a burden in my life that doesn’t let me move on from things that I need to walk away from.

I refuse to be reeled in by it anymore…it is like a car accident some days, seriously. You don’t want to look, but what you are seeing is just so unbelievable that you can’t look away.

I am taking back my power, I am looking away.

I am not hitting the delete button to be a bitch. I am hitting it because I need positive energy in my life. I need people that are real, that are thoughtful, that care about others and how they feel.

It’s not about who has the better toys, more friends or wittier conversation.

It is about real life. It is about loving your family, and doing what is right for your children while you still have them in your arms and life and home. It is telling your Mom and Dad, your brothers and sisters that you love them. Every single time you talk to them.

It is about doing the right thing, in every situation that you have control over. Knowing every day that you have done the best you can with what you have to work with.

These are the things that matter to me right now, today. I know in my heart and soul that I am doing the best I can. I try to be helpful, loving and thoughtful to people, even when they aren’t treating me with the same respect.

Some days it is a hard as fuck to pull that off.

I am far, far, far from perfect…but I try not to hurt people, even indirectly. I am not saying it never occurs to me, it definitely does, but sometimes it is a good idea to just step back and think about what you are doing first. Think about the decision you are making. Will it really make YOU feel better once you have hurt someone else? Probably not right?

My body is exhausted from all the stepping away. My filter is only so strong, and I don’t want to be that person, at all. I have spent a good portion of the last year being sick. My body is telling me what I need to hear, I just need to listen to it.

I have been sick for the better portion of a year now, way more so than I know is healthy. If your body isn’t healthy it is usually a reflection of your state of mind.

I need to listen to my body, look after it and nurture it.

I don’t know what I used to do before I started writing to get my feelings out, I always feel so much better after I actually have it written down and worked it out on the screen, it is the best therapy I have ever had.

So I will continue to write my little ass off, but my social networking days will be cut down, and the friends list is going to be a little shorter. It’s all for a good cause.

My sense of well being. My health. My new and improved life…

We all need a good internal cleansing every now and again, today is that day!!!

Happy Friday my friends…

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About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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