Has anything ever traumatic happened to you?
What is this? a joke? I have had so much traumatic stuff happen to me that I don’t know where to begin. Some of it I can’t even begin to wrote about because it it just between my and my therapist. (Yes, it’s that traumatic.) But I will will about a traumatic incident that upset me and that I’ve written about before and that is still hard for me to get over.
My husband and I were having a rocky time in our marriage due to my debts and he was extremely angry with me, but had told me he was not going to divorce me. I was on medical leave for depression and he was pressuring me to return to work though my doctor didn’t think I was ready to return. But I thought it would be good for me to get back to work and a routine. So On a Sunday night, I made the commute back to Austin for a week at work. (I worked in Austin all week and returned home on the weekends.)
On Friday, I came back to San Antonio and went to my therapy appointment, being nervous about returning home and what my husband would be like. We hadn’t spoken all week. I called him after my appointment but there was no answer which was strange, but I drove on home. As I reached our house, there was a strange car in the driveway and a strange man waiting there. I wondered why my husband didn’t come out and find out what he wanted. So I parked my car and asked the man if I could help him.
He asked my name and I told him. Then he said he was a process server and was serving me with divorce papers because my husband had filed for divorce. Then I noticed that my husband was on the porch watching the whole drama. My knees were trembling and shaking as I took the paper. I turned to my husband and could only say, “WHy?” He told me that “everyone” he talked to said that i was too dangerous. I said, “What happened to your saying that you wouldn’t divorce me?” He said again that I was too dangerous. I still have no idea what that meant. But I was thankful that I had an apartment to live in in Austin and could go and stay with my daughter in San Antonio that weekend. I felt cast out and missed my animals and was despondent that my marriage was over. There was no discussing it or trying to work it out. He was throwing me out.
That was my traumatic experience that I am still trying to get over. I still experience physical reactions when I think about it or write about it as I am doing now. In the end, it was for the best, but he could have handled it far better. He handled it in the most cruel way that he could. But he is a cold, cruel person. I hope no other woman gets tangled up with him. I should have known better, because I was the fourth wife he divorced.