Doomed to Failure

Write about a relationship you knew was doomed from the start.

I me my second husband almost twenty years before we were married. We were good friends but I knew he wanted to be more than friends. However, I was hesitant to date someone I worked with, so we never dated, though he did make several passes at me.

He retired from the department and I missed him terribley. After about a year, I asked if I could come to vist him in his new home of San Antonio, Texas (we Lived in Albany, New York). He was thrilled and so I made plans to visit him in San Antonio. Everything went well for the first few days. But after a few days, he expressed his love for me and things turned serious. In my mind, I thought, “He’s a good man. I may never have another chance at happiness with a man. He’ll be good to me and care for me. Maybe I should take a chance.” The warning signs were all there, however. He had been married three times before and all his wives had cheated on him, or so he said. He had divorced all of them. My daughter was in her last year of high school and she would have to stay at home with her father. I could easily get a job but I would be working long hours while he was retired. I had no family in Texas while he had family there. There were just many signs that said “go slow.”

But of course I didn’t. I had known him for nearly 20 years. I thought I knew him well. But I didn’t. He had a very cruel streak. He was jealous of my daughter and my work. He had an obsession with the Nazis and the old Nazi soldiers. Our marriage lasted ten years and broke up (he divorced me) when I accumulated debt. He couldn’t tolerate imperfections in me. The signs were all there but I didn’t see them or didn’t want to see them. If only I had opened my eyes and given this some thought…


About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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2 Responses to Doomed to Failure

  1. misswhiplash says:

    Oh Maire ‘If only” two short words that can make such a difference… if only..we could say that forever and still make mistakes… do not look on your past life as a series of bad mistakes..look at them as being an experience of life… Now look forward to the future….

  2. The Hook says:

    I’ve been pretty fortunate with relationships – so far!

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