Alone or with Others?

Do you enjoy being alone? Would you rather be around other people?

Being a true introvert, I actually enjoy being alone. I get anxious when I have to be around other people or in social situations. I’m okay if I have to go the doctor’s office or to some appointment like that but if I have to go shopping or to a social engagement, I have to pop a few anti-anxiety pills or I would never get there. I get terribly anxious and upset about being with other people in those types of situations. Yes, even going to the store to do errand makes me nervous and anxious. But the social situations are the worst. I have been forcing myself to go out to those types of engagements and let me tell you, it is NOT easy. I really have to work myself into going and practically shove myself out the door.

I would much rather just stay home with the dogs in my messy house and feel comfortable and safe. I don’t feel safe in social situations and feel very uncomfortable. I’m not skilled aT small talk and feel like I’m not an interesting person to be around. I try to smile and be pleasant but always feel that I’m interfering in other people’s conversations. I don’t know how others feel about me. I’m not good at reading other people and their feelings. Maybe that’s why I’m so uncomfortable. At any rate, I would much rather be at home than at a social event but I go to them anyway because I know I should (my shrink told me I should and I do what she tells me to do). I have a holiday party coming up next week for my CASA group which will be nice. They are nice people and I know I won’t feel too threatened. I hope the judges aren’t there. Then I’ll freak ou.

About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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3 Responses to Alone or with Others?

  1. misswhiplash says:

    i understand what you are saying D, and i really do feel for you . It cannot be easy but if you do not try ..which you are doing…your complex will only get worse.

    I have said it before..if you want to talk I am here..and on Skype as you know. I often see your name pop up and wonder if you would like a natter .So if you feel like talking , talk with me…

  2. The Hook says:

    I’m with other people – at work and home – ALL THE TIME!
    So some solitude is nice every once in a while.

  3. brittany220 says:

    It’s cool that you’re an introvert too. I’m an introvert but I actually feel more anxious when I’m out by myself somewhere than when I’m with people. I’d much rather be out with people than alone. Though I do get a little drained from being with people all day sometimes. Nice to come across your blog and meet you!

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