What Will You Be Thinking On Your Deathbed?

I borrowed this prompt from Patrecia today as her list is absolutely brilliant and I had to have a go myself (and I borrowed it from Mushy Cloud/sterlingsop). You’ll find her list here if you want to see where I’m coming from. (I made a couple of modifications to fit my own circumstances.)

“What Will You Thinking About On Your Deathbed?”

Great, great question!! Assuming I will have a long time between knowing I’m on my deathbed and actually shuffling off this mortal coil (and not being wiped out in a blink by the number 98 bus on Vance Jackson…), here’s my list (in no particular order):

1. I’ll be wondering if I’ll be aware of the process of dying. For instance, will I know that my breathing is getting shallower and slower? Will I be aware that my heart’s beat is getting further and further in between? Does it hurt when I take my last breath?

2. I’ll be thinking about the people who will mourn me – my daughter, my siblings, my friends (my grand-kids? Great-grand-kids?) and hoping they will remember me for the good times we’ve shared.

3. I would want my loved ones to plan a party for me at my “farewell ceremony”. I don’t want them to be miserable and sad. Of course they can miss me but I want them to celebrate my life and to get on with theirs with me in their hearts. I would hate them to idolise me and put me in a shrine which would stop them moving on and living their own lives. I don’t want to hold anyone back and I would hate it if they couldn’t move on. Life is for living, not carrying the dead around.

4. I’d be excited about going on to the next stage. I want to see my parents again. I want to see my Uncle Donald again, desperately. I want to see my Aunt Elsie and my Aunt Bertha– it has been too long since they went. I want to meet both my grandmothers and grandfathers again and find out what they make of my efforts to be a grown up. And of course, it goes without saying that I want to meet God face to face.

5. Knowing me I’d be thinking about being too hot/too cold and could they open the window/turn the heating up. That could just be my age now though, so scratch that one if I reach 90!!

6. I’d be thinking back to all the opportunities I’ve missed to make a difference to people’s lives.

7. I’d be thinking back to all the times I wimped out of new things because I was too nervous to try them.

8. I’d be thinking about all the times I didn’t say “sorry” or “I love you”.

9. And then I would think about all the times where I did try to make a difference, where I did make the effort to try new things and where I did say “sorry” and “I love you” and I would be happy.

10. And finally I would probably be worrying about how the family are going to divide all my millions in the bank (hahah!!! Yeah, right….)

Got to end on a funny one haven’t I?!!

So what’s your list? Would you be introspective do you think? Would you make last minute atonements, or are you pretty much there already with your conscience and your relationships with your family and God? Would you, like me, be worrying about all those millions sat there waiting to be spent on frivolous fripperies?? (That’s a joke by the way, just in case my stalker is reading this and thinking that I’ve got pots of cash in the bank. But I can always live in hope of winning the Lottery someday can’t I?!)

About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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1 Response to What Will You Be Thinking On Your Deathbed?

  1. The Hook says:

    I’ll be thinking “Don’t take me, Jesus!

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