When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?
When I was sixteen, we had a fair at my girls’ school, complete with a fortune-telling booth. The fortune tellers were the senior girls. What made them so clairvoyant, who knows. But being sixteen, if the fortune-teller told me a good fortune, I tended to believe it. This particular fortune-teller read my palm and told me that I would marry my college sweetheart and that we woud have four children, two boys and two girls, and be very happy. That was my vision of my life when I was sixteen, that I would be a wife and mother to four children and all would be roses and flowers.
My life looks nothing like that. I did indeed marry my college sweetheart and we had one daughter. But he cheated on me and left me for his paramour and later married her, had a child, then cheated on her, divorced her, married again, his third wife cheated on HIM, and he retired, to play the field in his retirement in Nevada. He’ll never settle down. As for me, I was a single mom for 15 years, raising my daughter. I had one serious relationship with a younger man that din’t work out. I became a “ballet mom.” My daughter danced and for years our life revolved around her dancing. She was my life.
Then I remarried. I married a man I had worked with and who had a crush on me. I had known him nearly 20 years from work, but I didn’t really know him, it turns out. I moved 2,000 miles from New York to Texas to be with him. I found work (he was retired) and had a long commute to work each day as we lived in the country. I stayed with him for 10 years, even though it was not a good marriage. We had little in common and fought quite a bit. I was often working out of town and during the last year of my marriage was working full-time in Austin, 120 miles from home. I had an apartment where I lived during the week and I came back home on weekends.
I sank into a deep depression over my marriage and my work situation, and had to seek professional help. My husband was unsympathetic and finally divorced me. Though it was done in a cruel and heartless fashion, it was the best thing for me. It was the only way I could get well–to stop working and killing myself and get away from him. So I retired and moved back to San Antonio to be nearer to my daughter and her family who also live in San Antonio. Now I devote my time to tutoring primary school students in reading and working with CASA (Court-Appointed Special Advocates for children) representing abused and neglected children in Family Court. I have hobbies that I like to do and I’m constantly busy and most of all, I’m happy.
I didn’t end up married to my college sweetheart with four children, but I have one daughter, two very special granddaughters, and a full life. Who could ask for more?