I have chosen as my companion piece to write a companion piece to The Hook’s The Book of Terrible’s Lesser Known Kardashian Relatives. He has listed ten of the stranger Kardashians in the pantheons that make up the Kardashian family. He mentions notables such as Kamouflage Kardashian, Androgynous Kardashian, Kinky Kardashian, Senile Kardashian (aka Kris), and Nutty-As-A-Fruitcake Kardashian (aka Kim).
I want to tell you about Kim’s latest journey into respectable society, or the acting community, as it were. I saw her on The Tonight Show last night with Jay Leno. Yes, her pregnant self. The rumor has it that she has gained an extraordinary amount of weight with her pregnancy so that she can get a lucrative weight loss deal after her pregnancy is over. I tell you, her mother Kris works overtime thinking up deals for her daughters to get. At any rate, the lovely and extremely untalented Kim has landed pre-pregant self a movie role and it is now being released. I didn’t catch the name of the movie and it’s just as well since I wouldn’t rush out to see it anyway. She isn’t a big draw for me. Kim plays the role of a matchmaker. No, she is not a femme fatale, her usual role in real life. But I jest. She is a matchmaker. They played a clip from the movie where she is talking to one of her clients and she says something sarcastic to her client. It got some titters from the audience. She was supposed to be funny, but she really wasn’t. She was a rather poor actress. I suppose I should have said actor, since we should be using gender-neutral terms, but whatever term we’re using, she wasn’t good. Not stellar. The Academy will not be calling anytime soon, Kim. Don’t wake early next February expecting to hear your name on the televised Oscar nominees. It won’t be read. End of story.
Jay Leno was very polite and kind to La Kim. As I recall, he didn’t ask any questions about the suave and debonair Kanye. He stuck to Kim’s profession as a “serious” actress. For what it was worth. This was her first movie. It may be her last, for all I know. All I can say is that from the clip, I wasn’t impressed. So we can add to The Hook’s list of Lesser Known Kardashians: Non-Oscar-Winning Kardahians. I’d say this is a safe category for many years to come.