When faced with confrontation, do you head for the hills or walk straight in? Was there ever a time you wished you’d had the opposite reaction?
I am probably the least confrontational person you will ever meet in your life. I avoid confrontation like it is the plague. I hate disagreements. In my family, I am the one who plays the role of the mediator. I’m the one people came to in order to broker a peace deal between warring parties. I’m rarely one of the warring parties. I somehow manage to stay out of major conflicts. By choice.
When faced with a confrontation, I look for ways to diffuse the situation. If that means giving way on my position, I usually give way. I capitulate. I will make amends. I rethink my position. I try to make peace at any cost. That is of primary concern to me. That is more important to me than being right. My opinion isn’t that important. I’m willing to be wrong as long as I can keep the peace between myself and a member of my family, especially my daughter. These are for everyday conflicts and confrontations.
However, there are sometimes when I have to stand my ground and face the confrontation. That time, unfortunately, is coming with a family member. And I am right on this issue and he is not. I have to wait another year or so before I can take action about this particular problem, but I will have to take action and there will be a confrontation and it will not be pretty. I don’t want to do this but this family member is leaving me no other choice by his actions. I helped him when he needed help and he has not lived up to his part of the bargain. So there will be a confrontation. And I will have to fight. I don’t relish it. I don’t do it often. But in this case I will fight.
So my first reaction in the face of confrontation is flight. That’s what I normally do with everyday conflict and confrontation, the little things. But when there is a big thing that I have to fight for, I will stand and fight. It’s difficult, but I will fight. Fight or flight. I do both.