Daily Prompt–Fight or Flight

When faced with confrontation, do you head for the hills or walk straight in? Was there ever a time you wished you’d had the opposite reaction?

I am probably the least confrontational person you will ever meet in your life. I avoid confrontation like it is the plague. I hate disagreements. In my family, I am the one who plays the role of the mediator. I’m the one people came to in order to broker a peace deal between warring parties. I’m rarely one of the warring parties. I somehow manage to stay out of major conflicts. By choice.

confrontationWhen faced with a confrontation, I look for ways to diffuse the situation. If that means giving way on my position, I usually give way. I capitulate. I will make amends. I rethink my position. I try to make peace at any cost. That is of primary concern to me. That is more important to me than being right. My opinion isn’t that important. I’m willing to be wrong as long as I can keep the peace between myself and a member of my family, especially my daughter. These are for everyday conflicts and confrontations.

However, there are sometimes when I have to stand my ground and face the confrontation. That time, unfortunately, is coming with a family member. And I am right on this issue and he is not. I have to wait another year or so before I can take action about this particular problem, but I will have to take action and there will be a confrontation and it will not be pretty. I don’t want to do this but this family member is leaving me no other choice by his actions. I helped him when he needed help and he has not lived up to his part of the bargain. So there will be a confrontation. And I will have to fight. I don’t relish it. I don’t do it often. But in this case I will fight.

So my first reaction in the face of confrontation is flight. That’s what I normally do with everyday conflict and confrontation, the little things. But when there is a big thing that I have to fight for, I will stand and fight. It’s difficult, but I will fight. Fight or flight. I do both.

About mairedubhtx

I am a "youngish" grandmother of 15 year old twin granddaughter who has recently (is a year "recent"?) adopted Islam as my way of life, much to the consternation of my family. I love to read. I love to write. I am writing a book about my decision to revert, about my spiritual journey. I have another blog about stories from my youth, my parents, and grandparents. It's a blog so my OCD daughter will not be able to throw it out when I die. I suffer from depression and anxiety, for which I am treated, so my posts may be a bit dark at times. C'est la vie.
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3 Responses to Daily Prompt–Fight or Flight

  1. The Hook says:

    I try not to jump right in, but its unavoidable at times, especially in my business!

  2. I’m usually channeling Ferdinand the bull, who would rather sit in the meadow and smell the flowers. But, when the time come what I need to stand up about something, I jump in and fight til the bitter end. Sometimes we just have to do it.

  3. Sometimes you must take a stand. Courage. Standing up with confidence doesn’t always mean a nasty fight – sometimes they back down when called on the carpet. (“Oh, why didn’t you say something”). In any case gain respect and be firm. Get your message short and clear – do not be manipulated away from your message – stay on target (do not let the subject shift to other issues – return and stay on that one topic). Repeating the exact same message – often in the exact same words has an effect. Decide what outcome/goal you want at the end. Keep it short and don’t let it wander on – one issue. Get that resolved, then stop…leave the area. It’s not a fight just because you are standing firm. It’s respect for yourself. Stand tough – you can do this ( and they will probably be shocked.)

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