Write about something you consider “ugly” — war, violence, failure, hatred — but try to find beauty, or a sense of hope, in your thoughts.
Photographers, artists, poets: show us UGLY.
The thing that I would like to write about that I consider ugly is my mental illness. I suffer from chronic depression and severe anxiety. I have probably suffered from these two conditions to some degree for most of my life. I know I have been very anxious even as a small child. And, thinking back on my life, I showed signs of depression even as an adolescent.
But about fifteen or twenty years ago, the depression and anxiety became so bad that I had to seek professional help. I had become suicidal. I was having severe migraine headaches that no one could seem to help. My job situation was not good. My marriage was in shambles. All these factors combined to make my depression very bad. And my anxiety was out of control. But I was very fortunate. I found a very understanding and competent psychiatrist and a therapist. These two people helped me through the most difficult period in my life. This period lasted for over ten years and in some respects, it is still continuing.
I still suffer from depression and anxiety. I take medication for both of these conditions and talk to a therapist. But I am no longer suicidal. I also know to be on alert for signs that I am sinking into a worse depression and to get myself back to the psychiatrist right away to have my medications adjusted. My depression may worsen at any time. But I know that my doctor is always there to help me through it. And my therapist is also there for me.
There is hope for depression and anxiety in treatment. I learned this when I was at my lowest period. I came through that. I am living a relatively normal life now with medications and therapy. I hope that other people who are suffering from depression or anxiety will seek help from a psychiatrist and a therapist. These professionals can really help with medications and supplements and therapy. These things work. They worked for me.