Category Archives: depression

Dream-Like, or Nightmare

I woke very early this morning–somewhere around 3:15 a.m. No particular reason; just awoke. I read a bit in Deserts and Mountains, took a shower, wrote in my morning pages book (have been neglecting writing my book, however). I felt … Continue reading

Posted in agorophia, being with people, books, darkness, daughter, depression, despair, dog, early rising, Ernie, fear, granddaughters, love, morning pages, my writing, outcast, psychiatrist, reading, rejection, relationship issues, sadness, suicidal, suicide, therapy, writing a book | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Maybe A Misunderstanding?

So why I have still not heard a word of any kind from Sabrina? Could we have a misunderstanding here? She asked a question the other day (Sunday) on FaceBook about Muslims celebrating Christmas. Some of her friends gave some … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, communication, daughter, depression, feeling like I don't belong, granddaughters, jewelry, lack of sleep, misunderstanding, movies, outcast, phone call, psychiatrist, relationship issues, sadness, therapist | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

A New Day

Funny what a good night’s sleep can do for the mind and the soul. It seems that everything appears the bleakest in the nighttime, especially when the day hasn’t gone so well either. The morning comes, and even though it’s … Continue reading

Posted in Allah, anger, bad mood, being taken advantage of, Christmas, depression, despair, early rising, granddaughters, incidents with Sabrina, migraines, prayers, reconciliation, rejection, relationship issues, therapy, understanding | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

More Christmas Day Thoughts

Now it’s noon. Still haven’t heard from my daughter. I guess I feel like writing about it since I can’t do anything about her lack of concern or sensitivity to me. I just hope and pray that her daughters never … Continue reading

Posted in anger, bad mood, bad relationship, being taken advantage of, Christmas, Christmas gifts, creativity, daughter, death, defining moments, depression, despair, dog, feeling like I don't belong, feeling used, my writing, paintings, rejection, relationship issues, sadness, suicide | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

More Falls, Literally

Last night I took my granddaughters for dinner at their favorite restaurant–for us–Red Lobster. Cassie was awfully quiet. Jackie was talkative as usual. I had invited Sabrina, too, but Clint seems to have the flu–a virus, she says–but it sounds … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas gifts, daughter, depression, disorganization, feeling like I don't belong, feeling used, relationship issues | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

My Trip

I am glad that I went to NY, even though I have mixed emotions. It was wonderful being with Pattie. We had great talks. She understands me and the problems with Sabrina. Joanne is so much like my mother–go, go, … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, depression, feeling like I don't belong, glad to be home, jealousy, trip to NY, writing | Leave a comment

Still Waiting For…

I went to see both Dr. S and John today. Dr. S doubled my new med to see if it would help my sleeping. About my agorophia, she says I have to FORCE myself to go out. She also decided … Continue reading

Posted in depression, feeling used, psychiatrist, relationships, sadness, therapist | Leave a comment

Is This Another One? Oh, HELL, NO!

Rarely do I write 2 blogs in one day, let alone one morning, but after prayers, after I came downstairs and opened my computer to add Palwasha to Twitter, I got an aura. Auras for me often but not always … Continue reading

Posted in auras, depression, despair, migraines | Leave a comment

Ate Too Late After Our Appointment

I was right to be apprehensive about our (Sabrina and my) appointment with John yesterday. She was pleasant when she came in, a little depressed, I think, because she didn’t get the job she was so certain she was going … Continue reading

Posted in anger, baby, communication, depression, past events, therapy | Leave a comment


So it’s Sunday. I didn’t sleep well last night. I don’t know why. I kept waking up every hour or so. Around 3:30 am, I took some Klonopin. Didn’t really help. Didn’t feel terribly anxious, just couldn’t really sleep. When … Continue reading

Posted in birthdays, Christmas, depression, doctors, jewelry, movies | Leave a comment