Category Archives: sadness

I Feel As Though I’m Not Really Here

So many ridiculous things have happened in the past 10 days that I truly don’t even know what I’m feeling. I thought things were improving with my daughter until Christmas. When I didn’t even receive a call, I was so … Continue reading

Posted in anger, anxiety, Christmas, daughter, depression, despair, disorganization, feeling like I don't belong, feeling used, incidents with Sabrina, interference in my life, Islam, kidneys, meds, messiness, migraines, movie, normal life, outcast, past events, psychiatrist, reading, reality, rejection, relationship issues, restraining order, Sabrina, sadness, son-in-law, therapist, therapy | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Am A Nervous Wreck

I think I am going insane. Sabrina has twisted everything I have done or said to make it seem like I am out of my mind and can’t take care of myself. Maybe I can’t. I know the house is … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, darkness, depression, despair, messiness, sadness, shame, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

How did this Happen?

All I did was to tell my daughter that is she wanted more accurate information on Islam, she could simply ask me and if I didn’t know the answer I would ask our sheikh. 4 hours later, she is threatening … Continue reading

Posted in anger, anxiety, communication, depression, despair, doctors, feeling like I don't belong, feeling used, girls, granddaughters, human rights, Islam, migraines, misunderstanding, prejudices and biases, psychiatrist, rejection, relationship issues, religion, restraining order, Sabrina, sadness, son-in-law, suicidal, therapy, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Dream-Like, or Nightmare

I woke very early this morning–somewhere around 3:15 a.m. No particular reason; just awoke. I read a bit in Deserts and Mountains, took a shower, wrote in my morning pages book (have been neglecting writing my book, however). I felt … Continue reading

Posted in agorophia, being with people, books, darkness, daughter, depression, despair, dog, early rising, Ernie, fear, granddaughters, love, morning pages, my writing, outcast, psychiatrist, reading, rejection, relationship issues, sadness, suicidal, suicide, therapy, writing a book | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Maybe A Misunderstanding?

So why I have still not heard a word of any kind from Sabrina? Could we have a misunderstanding here? She asked a question the other day (Sunday) on FaceBook about Muslims celebrating Christmas. Some of her friends gave some … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas, communication, daughter, depression, feeling like I don't belong, granddaughters, jewelry, lack of sleep, misunderstanding, movies, outcast, phone call, psychiatrist, relationship issues, sadness, therapist | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

More Christmas Day Thoughts

Now it’s noon. Still haven’t heard from my daughter. I guess I feel like writing about it since I can’t do anything about her lack of concern or sensitivity to me. I just hope and pray that her daughters never … Continue reading

Posted in anger, bad mood, bad relationship, being taken advantage of, Christmas, Christmas gifts, creativity, daughter, death, defining moments, depression, despair, dog, feeling like I don't belong, feeling used, my writing, paintings, rejection, relationship issues, sadness, suicide | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Christmas Day

  Even though I am a Muslim, I am an American and Christmas is embedded into my very fiber. Following the dictates of my religion, I did not decorate for Christmas (apart from a poinsettia plant which I sent to … Continue reading

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French Carols

I know. I am a Muslima. What am I doing listening to French Christmas carols? I love the music, especially the old winter carols and tunes from medieval times. I love the English ones too. I love them all. They … Continue reading

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Still Waiting For…

I went to see both Dr. S and John today. Dr. S doubled my new med to see if it would help my sleeping. About my agorophia, she says I have to FORCE myself to go out. She also decided … Continue reading

Posted in depression, feeling used, psychiatrist, relationships, sadness, therapist | Leave a comment